You Are What You Eat

The cookies started it.

When I first started my new job, I hardly ever ventured down to the cafeteria - a full four flights of stairs and two wings over from where my office was located.

But then…my office was relocated. To the same floor.

Yikes. It would have been fine, except I spotted those cookies.

Little clear plastic bags filled with three fresh-baked sugar cookies, all golden and soft. Tied up all cute with a red twisty-tie. Piled adorably in a basket right next to the cash register.

I’m powerless, I tell you.

And then it just got worse. The gorgeous butternut squash soup. The giant calzones, cheesy and toasty underneath their warmer. And don’t even get me STARTED on the mac and cheese. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I work in a hospital, so I don’t have to very far to crawl when I go into cardiac arrest.

But now, they’ve really outdone themselves. A little-known fact is that on Friday mornings, my hospital’s cafeteria offers cinnamon buns.

So on a recent Friday morning, I went down to scope out the situation. And there they were – massive trays of giant cinnamon buns, all gooey and warm, just sitting there waiting to be scooped up onto a plate and devoured. As if the buns weren’t bad enough…I look over to the right of the trays and I see a large silver bowl with a ladle sticking out of it. I peer inside and what do I see…

A GIANT VAT OF EXTRA FROSTING FOR YOUR CINNAMON BUN!

Seriously?

Seriously.

That’s it.

I’m resigning today.